


Romance is (un)dead

by nightimedreamer



Series: Flufftober prompts [4]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Autumn Ball, Baz has a sweet tooth, Canon Divergence, Flufftober, M/M, Secret Relationship, Simon Snow's A+ flirting techniques, Watford Eighth Year, candy apples, sexually charged apple eating, these guys think they're so subtle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26943079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightimedreamer/pseuds/nightimedreamer
Summary: Simon and Baz are supposed to keep their relationship a secret; however, there are just too many opportunities for bad flirting, and the boys can't help themselves.OR:Sharing a candy apple with your sworn enemy can be so inherently homoerotic.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Flufftober prompts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956919
Comments: 13
Kudos: 142





	Romance is (un)dead

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again everyone! I'm back with another ficlet (which I managed to keep short, for once) for the Flufftober prompts!  
> Day 9 - Candy Apples!  
> Check [the list of prompts!](https://subpar-selkie.tumblr.com/post/628080856195547136/flufftober-prompts)  
> Enjoy!

**Simon**

I watch Baz as he waltzes through the crowd, switching partners swiftly, never dancing with the same person twice. 

Normally, he's graceful. Tonight, though, he looks almost ethereal. His hair is still perfectly slicked back, despite the fact that he's just spent an hour spinning around the ballroom, and I bet he's not even sweating. (I can't help but watch him. I know I should at least pretend I'm not staring, but… that's difficult.)

He makes it seem so easy. Effortless. Meanwhile, I've already tripped a dozen times, and Penny gave up on me to go dance on her own long ago.

I don't spend too long with each partner, either. Everyone is aware of my _abysmal_ dancing abilities, like Baz puts it. The only reason I'm still attempting to dance is because I want to dance with _him;_ each frustrated partner spinning me closer and closer to him. 

Baz looks completely stunning today—any day, really. Today, though, he's just _breathtaking;_ wearing a three piece suit, wine red, and it seems to hug his body perfectly in all the right places. (I try not to get too caught up on his thighs. Or his calves.) _(Ground yourself, Simon.)_ It makes him stand out in the golden light that fills the room, like he belongs among the autumn leaves whirling around in a magickal breeze. 

We're celebrating the Equinox—even though it's already October. (The school was attacked on the day, so the ball had to be delayed.) 

The only other thing in this room capable of getting my attention is the snack table. (There's _pumpkin pie,_ for Merlin's sake.) 

I'm almost reaching him—my plan is simple and consists of three steps: 1. get Baz to dance with me; 2. get a piece of pie (or maybe one of those candy apples, looking just as tempting), and finally, 3. take Baz back to our room and snog him senseless for the rest of the evening. 

There's only one thing disturbing my plan: my wanker boyfriend keeps avoiding me. 

**Baz**

Simon Snow has yet to learn the art of subtlety. 

He keeps following me around like a lost puppy; or a fucking numpty. I've tried everything to get my point across _—wait until the ball is over,_ _keep your hands to yourself and stop looking at me like that._

I even bump into him once, hissing the words at him with a sneer plastered onto my face to make it look like a threat. Snow just grins, pushing me away half-heartedly, and I can't help but roll my eyes. 

We're _supposed_ to pretend we're still enemies, lest someone suspects what's going on. It's one thing to form a truce under the excuse of spying on each other to our families; it's _something else entirely_ to get caught snogging in a dark hall. (Or in a brightly illuminated hall. Or anywhere, really.) 

Still, Snow doesn't seem to understand the importance of discretion. Either that, or he's just too stubborn. 

My golden nightmare of a boyfriend just keeps trying to approach me under the guise of dancing. He spins clumsily, getting closer and closer to me each time. The song changes again, and we switch partners, and he's just about to loop his arm around my waist, when— 

I spin right out of his grasp in a smooth movement, shooting him a sneer as I leave the dance floor. He's left there, arms open and empty, glaring at me with narrowed eyes and a disbelieving look. 

I chuckle lightly to myself, making my way to the snack table. I know it won't be long until he follows me there, as well, but at least it'll give me a moment to catch my breath. 

I round the long table, pretending to be interested in the food. I can't really eat, not right now; but at least I can sneak some goodies up to our room. 

I'm eyeing the candy apples. They look delicious, coated in chocolate and sprinkled with colorful sugar strands. I grab one. 

I'm just about to lick it—just to get a taste—when someone bumps into me. 

"You're not planning on sharing that candy with anyone, are you?" Snow asks, leaning dangerously against the edge of the table. 

I should give him a cold shoulder and turn around like he isn't talking to me. I should shoo him away. 

But he looks lovely tonight, with his bronze curls arranged neatly for once (my best efforts), his perfect grey suit and red tie _(my_ tie.) (Which I tied for him, by the way.) 

He's lovely, and I'm weak. 

"That's right," I say, lifting an eyebrow at him, "I intend to keep it all to myself." 

Snow huffs. "Pity. I know you won't eat it anyway." 

I shrug. "Doesn't mean I can't taste it." 

With that, I give my candy apple a good lick, lapping up the chocolate. Snow's eyes widen comically, and I wonder if his mouth is watering as much as mine. 

**Simon**

He's evil. Devilish. _Damned temptation._

Baz just licks the candy apple, staring straight into my eyes as he does it. 

Of course, he just wants to rile me up. The tosser. 

"Anyway," I say, stepping closer, trying to ignore the heat rising on my cheeks. "I was wondering. Would you like to dance? Just one song, perhaps. Like real enemies do." 

Baz snorts, his eyes crinkling up, and it takes everything in me to not drop the act right here, right now, and smash my face against his. 

"It's such a generous offer, my dear Chosen One," he says, voice affected, batting his dark lashes at me. "But I'll pass up." 

"Why?" I interject. (Maybe too fast.) 

"Because if I wanted to have someone stomping on my feet, I'd rather dance with one of the goats," he says, turning around and walking away. 

"You're the worst," I say, following him. I know I'm not being subtle, but damn that. 

"I know," Baz doesn't spare me a glance, "you love it." 

"For some reason, yeah—" 

"Stop following me," he hisses over his shoulder, and I stop walking, looking around. "And stop _flirting_ with me!" 

"Stop flirting back!" I say, trying to pretend I'm cross with him, but it's difficult. "Besides, that's just normal nemesis behavior, didn't you know?"

He turns to me, his mouth turning up at the corners, betraying his amusement. "Of course, Snow. Keep lying to yourself as much as you want." 

I laugh. I can't help it. We're both terrible at this thing.

No one seems to notice us, though. There's great music playing, and it's still pretty early; which means most people are on the dance floor, having fun. 

"Baz, no one cares about us," I say, stepping closer to him. He's obviously pretending I'm talking to the walls, still licking his apple. My blood boils. "Seriously, though, let's have fun. We can make up something to explain it. Later, I'll say you cursed me into dancing with you." 

He snorts at that, shaking his head.

"Good idea, but out of character for me." He spins the apple between his fingers, practically rubbing it on my face. "What if we say _you_ cursed _me?_ You're desperate enough." 

I shove at his shoulder. Partially because he's a prick, partially in case anyone is watching. 

"Whatever. Just…" I bite my lip. 

Baz sighs, rolling his eyes. "You're insufferable, you know." He holds the candy apple out to me. "Candy?" 

I don't miss a beat. 

**Baz**

Well, I should've predicted that. 

Snow snatches the candy apple from my hand so fast, I wonder if he has some kind of vampiric speed. 

He brings it to his mouth, locking eyes with me as he bites down, mouth exaggeratedly open, teeth showing. Like he's thinking about biting _me._

(He did, yesterday. Just like that. Makes me wonder, again, which one of us is the vampire.)

The way my mouth dries at the sight is absolutely ridiculous. 

He's smiling as he chews, and I'm disgusted at the way it makes my heart flutter. 

_"Manners,_ you numpty." 

"Sorry," Simon covers his mouth. "I was just thinking; you're not such a terrible boyfriend, after all." 

I roll my eyes. "We've already agreed that's you. I am, if anything, the hopeless romantic in this relationship." 

"Sure," he says, winking at me. "Good to know romance isn't dead." 

I laugh. "You're a moron, Simon." 

"Are you going to dance with me or not?" 

I shake my head. "I'm _not,_ unless you curse me." 

"Prick." His eyes are shining. 

I'm a constant disappointment to myself. 

"Alright." I take the candy back from him, and—this is incredibly stupid, and risky, and unnecessary—take a bite, right beside the marks his teeth left on the apple's flesh. 

Snow stares at me, astonished, and I repress a grin while I chew. (Because I'm not an animal.) Luckily, my fangs don't pop. 

"I'm going back to our room, now," I say, after swallowing. "Then we can see." 

He nods. "Right. Yeah." Simon hesitates, looking around. "See you in a bit?" 

I smirk. "Don't forget to bring me more candy." 

As I'm climbing the stairs up to our room, I make a mental note to myself:

_Sharing a candy apple with your sworn enemy can be so inherently homoerotic._

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Simon & Baz: yeah we must *keep* this a secret.  
> Absolutely everyone else: *facepalm*  
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this!  
> You can find me on Tumblr at [nightimedreamersworld!](https://nightimedreamersworld.tumblr.com/)


End file.
